Sunday, February 29
i long to wet His feet with my tears, wipe them with my tresses, perfume them with my Ralph Lauren's Rush.
speaking of washing feet, naturally, i would think of the 'sinful' woman who did what i yearn to (Luke 7:37-38). but my Ralph Lauren wouldn't be as precious as her alabaster jar of expensive perfume. she's my role-model. yes, i look towards her for inspiration and encouragement, tho' she's just a brazen slut in others' eyes. but hear what Jesus said to the others - " Leave her alone. She has done a beautiful thing to me."
will i ever have the chance to kiss His feet? do i dare to?
d e b b e e e kvetched at 7:50 PM
wash her feet. her stinkin' ol' feet.
how excited can i be about that? plenty of excitement, dude. perhaps not exactly excitement, but anticipation of what God is doing in my life nowadays. today's sermon by rev john elliot was a spot-on for me. meant for me. directed at me. striking me.
the analogy of washing a disciple, or to me, a not-so-likeable person's feet - just like what Jesus did. talking about humility, servanthood, servant leadership. i know that sounds like sajc council lingo. who would have thought what i learnt in LTC then (yet not applied) is the exact antidote for my poisoned vehement soul now (soon to be applied). then altar call was the unseen opportunity to save my mangled soul. there were three categories: 1. overcoming the barrier of rejecting the washing of a twit's (in my own words) feet 2. something not pertainable to me 3. missionaries. i responded to the call for mission-trippers to surrender all plans to Him. sounded like MY kind of thing. hmm. so i went foward. noticed dear pastor tay looking soh kim and me. not strange, not strange. ahh... but God works in ways i couldn't see, or even imagine. the throbbing impression of her highly irritating manners was something unmistakeably God's prodding. moreover, rev elliot took a look at me, strode down to me straight from the pulpit and prayed for release in my heart to accept that person in my life.
amazing. it was as if God spoke to Him and he could see through the lousy facade i put up. wonderful, wonderful. so i tried smiling at her later on, but she gave me this 'why are you even existing in my world?' look. then she bumped into me and didn't even try to look apologetic. i was sooooooooooo damn pissed but guess what? i thought about the altar call prayer and remembered about washing her feet AND i miraculously bounced back to my jolly good mood again! haha.. praise God, praise God! a breakthrough, man. hah. another piece of good news is i can even talk nicely to her sidekick during luch leh! don't play play with God ar!
... how i wish she too, had gone up for the altar call, then God would have done wonders in her... oh bummer.
d e b b e e e kvetched at 7:35 PM
i realised i used to be a victim of fatalistic philosophy's unfathomable prowess.
blur, naive debbie used to think 'everything happens for His purpose' refers to everything and anything, good or bad; big or small, is because God wanted it to happen. even if i get hacked to death by a hooligan. or contract cancer. or getting a brain tumor.
fact is, it isn't necessarily true. bad sicknesses are not from God. like cancer, like tumors, and stuff like that. i thought falling sick was God's way to test your faith or something like that. i don't know still, actually. maybe yes, maybe no.
being as lazy as i am, i always choose the easier way out - to believe without a doubt subconsciously. take everything at face value: God says yes, He means yes and not yes only if you do this and this and that. but of course there are times when i doubt and ponder and realise i will never ever get an answer because the ultimate truth is God's wisdom way surpasses mine. it sounds rigid an answer, but what to do. divinity has trained me in the fine art of questioning, doubting and cynicalism. academic, ya?
so actually, i am still a fanatic of fatalistic philosophy. i have sold myself - body, spirit and soul - to fate. shoot me.
d e b b e e e kvetched at 6:45 PM
LOVE POETRY (Romantic Comedy) Friday, Feb 27, 11pm
Love Poetry is a romantic comedy about mistaken identities and finding true love all amidst the beauty of poetry.
Walter is an aspiring poet who is about to have his first childrenقs book published. The publisher loves the book but his editor, Dana, hates it and gives him a hard time. Dana, a single mother and a lover of good poetry, falls in love with her mechanic, Matt, when he starts writing her beautiful love poems. But the truth is they were written by Mattقs best friend, Walter. This leads to a case of mistaken identities that can only be resolved by one clever little girl, Danaقs 10 years old daughter, who is determined to make Walter her new father.
About the filmmaker:
Director / Writer Sun Koh graduated from the Film and Media Studies Department at Ngee Ann Polytechnic. Her final year project - Wendy, the Hypermovie won her the UTV Best Video Production Award. Sun's recent short film, The Secret Heaven won her the best director 2002 award at the 15th Singapore International Film Festival, as well as the Silver Hugo at the 38th Chicago International Film Festival.
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i watched, was hooked up, and am still swooning over the typically romantic plot...
beautiful, it was. *sigh* but darn it. it wasn't clear if walter got together with dana at the end. but i would believe they did.
that's debbie for you - the diehard romance addict who falls for every single fairy-tale with oh-so-happy endings.
especially love poetry.
sensuous love poetry.
yummy.
by yours truly, أ
And oh,
does a lingering gaze not mean anything at all?
Yet, your nonchalance speaks a paradox
Stop it
Come off it
Step out of the shadows
Do something
Say anything!
Oh,
come on!
Why would I want to linger
in the world of one who's so afraid to reveal that he loves me?
I, too, have got nothing to say,
all because Iقm rendered speechless,
Intrigued,
by your unassuming ways
d e b b e e e kvetched at 6:00 PM
Sunday, February 22
beautiful sunday gone just like that.
had lunch with mui teck and company at the vietnam restaurant in siglap. not fantastic food, but satisfied kim's craving and yvonne's memories. please remind me never ever to take bus 14 again to siglap. it took me aeons. and we all thought our 4 pairs of invincible eyes missed the stop. thank God for His mercies and grace. we persevered and reached our destination. the long and bumpy ride made me all giddy and puke-ish. but as usual, a cup of tea did the trick. had black-currant today. not very nice, but i'm not a tea gourmet, so it's fine with me. peppermint and camomile is still better. just don't give me green.
mui teck raised a very interesting question. who do we look to for spiritual support nowadays? i told her as a matter of factly, that i can only grumble and whine of late. i'm such a kvetch. but c'mmon! who can i approach? pastor? my oikos leader? i might as well ask santa claus for help in this case. hah. think about it now, i really do need a mentor. i am crumbling under immense pressure.
help!
but hey! between worrying about youth and sunday school, i had zippo time to dwell upon music missions. that's good news. heheh..
d e b b e e e kvetched at 7:32 PM
Saturday, February 21
i am feeling crappy now. now now NOW. waiting for the show "ALL IN" .. nothing better to do. blog blog blog.
yessir' i 'ave no life. got a prob'm with it?
::MUSIC MISSIONS::
i want to go for music missions. music missions. music missions. music missions. music missions. music missions. music missions. music missions.
MUSIC MISSIONS, I SAY!
this is driving me crazy. besides, $1800 is not a paltry sum to raise. especially so within the church, now that i didn't get the seal of approval.. so what?
do i look like i care?
alright. so i do. i suck. yes i really do. thank you for reminding me again. but i really want to go. afterall, i didn't go through that embarrassing audition for nothing. i mean, God answered my prayers and let me have a go at this! so why am i doubting? procrastinating? hesitating?? why?
cos' i'm stinkin' ol' debbie, that's why.
and i have turned this blog into a whining session. somewhere for me to bitch about my problems, others and myself. pah. please pardon me. a person who has too much time on her hands thinks too much and thus, grumbles alot. too bad. leave a comment to let me know your dissatisfaction. voice it out. i don't read minds. i don't play mind games. thank you for your time.
d e b b e e e kvetched at 10:37 PM
disastrous debbie strikes again!
forgot to bring the blue christian foundation booklet yesterday for oikos. thank God jeremiah showed us where the extra booklets were kept. but oikos decided to do word-ed instead of the scheduled 1st lesson. what a joke. realised however i may struggle, i look pathetic in God's eyes. God is in control. He does things in ways i would never expect. haha. that's God alright. i love God. i want to marry God. haha.
finally officially announced youth's restart. unsure of my enthusiasm for it. what a timing. then they asked a bunch of questions at oikos to 'relate' to the 'commoners' view. i wrote a load of baloney. hope they don't take me seriously and kick me out of oikos. heh. youth takes up alot of time. i can't juggle ministries. i really don't want to abandon children's church. or music missions. especially music missions now. ughh! assurance! assurance! i need God's blessed assurance! that was what word-ed was about. God giving us the assurance we need in times of fear. i don't care. i don't know. i don't want anything. i just want to go for music missions NOW.
like the grinch says.. .. "Bah! Humbug!"
yvonne led worship for her very 1st time.. accompanied her for practice with jeremiah at like 7. ahahaha.. so early! a few hiccups here and there, but smart yvonne knew just how to salvage seemingly disastrous situations. thank God for yvonne, good friend, a great sister-in-christ, a woman of excellence. stayed at her house to talk all night. wanted to talk about serious stuff, but wound up giggling ourselves silly over nonsense in our everyday lives. haha. a superb feeling of friendship built on Jesus. my turn to do worship for oikos next week. yvonne suggested i play my own guit. alas.. i cannot multi-task.. at least not while leading worship. blah. gotta ask jeremiah then. or timothy? idea.
haiyah.. kim was very high-strung yesterday. pressure of tests rushing to her head. hope my chocolates can do wonders. hahaha.. pray that she will do well in Jesus' name. oikos is multiplying. kim not too enthusiastic abt it. neither am i. when i envision myself stuck in *ahem* k's oikos, i would rather stay at home on fridays. i mean like, hellooooooooo? it's either bang my head on the wall or don't put me in the same oikos as j... lor. i cannot be oblivious to people giving me strange stares like i am intruding upon HER privacy. more like otherwise. yes. i am prejudiced. extremely, you might say. be nicer to her? I AM TRYING!! why don't you ask her to be nicer to me? huh~! all of a sudden, i find that sera is actually a very nice gal.
shoot me, triumvirs.
d e b b e e e kvetched at 1:00 PM
Friday, February 20
never knew html could be so daunting a task. spent the entire night plus the entire morning just trying to correct the skin i picked up from blogskins to fit my blog. but i have this triumphant sense of achievement now.
haha
don't know whether this will pose any problems. hopefully not. i have had enough of html. i am as tech-savvy as adam and eve. so this layout is here to stay, like it or not. try the mouse!! i spent like an hour trying to fit it into my template! sheesh. i think it's fun. haha. the shower of stars are so pretty to look at. one sad thng is no more reverendfun pics. what to do. htmlgoondudeb has no drive to spur her to include 'em in this template.
i just love the picture. can't wait for myself to be like her: being surrounded by lots and lots of beautiful shoes. can't decide. oooooh... the mere thought of it leaves me tingling in anticipation! haha. love red. no red shoes yet, tho'.. think people would shoot me murderous stares if i did. like how yvonne would sever our friendship if i bought the pair of fuzzy patent shoes. blah.
bushed. lethargic. weary. plain tired.
'til next time then.
d e b b e e e kvetched at 2:02 PM
alright alright... everything done. almost lah.
how does it look?
comment people!! comment!!
d e b b e e e kvetched at 12:57 AM